A CLACKS man has pleaded for greater mental health support, after coming close to ending his life last month.

Tom, not his real name, has been struggling with a range of severe conditions for years, but has found it difficult to access the type of support he needs.

The father-of-two told the Advertiser that he was within a whisker of slitting his own throat at Easter, after suffering a downtown of depression.

Crying down the phone, and desperately seeking help, the Alloa man admits to being at the lowest point in his life for years.

But for Tom, the ability to haul himself back up is due to developing his own personal coping strategies – something he feels would not be available to help young people in such a terrifying position.

He said: "Sometimes I am fine, I can get out and about and I can take my kids to school, and then there's just a flick of a switch and that's it.

"You feel horrible, useless and numb and you just can't go out and face the world.

"It's hard to get help; it's difficult to access the mental health services. I phoned up on Easter – I was crying down the phone, feeling suicidal and telling them I was going to slit my throat with a Stanley knife.

"I thought I needed to be put in a mental health ward for the weekend, to be given a wee tablet to calm me down or something, but I couldn't get anything like that.

"I was so close, but the thing that saved me was my children and living for them. That's been an ace up sleeve for years now.

"It was scary but I'm glad I didn't go through with it. I've got to soldier on for the kids."

Tom was abused as a youngster and spiralled into a crushing self-destructive lifestyle, which saw him turn to alcohol, drugs and crime.

He takes the time note the tremendous effort mental health physicians give to him, but he insists the system is being starved of the funding it needs.

He added: "I'm not putting them down; the staff are doing a great job, but the services are stretched beyond belief.

"In two years, I have had nine different psychiatrists and two different psychotherapists. I keep telling them that I need consistency, but they say it's never going to happen.

"The system is on its knees, and I know there are few people in my community who have committed suicide because of this."

Tom is now progressing and accessing more support, little by little.

Nevertheless, he recognises the impact such a struggle would have had on a younger mind – one which may not be able to even grasp the complicated nature of such severe conditions.

He said: "I know what I have been diagnosed with, but I just don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how it all works.

"I find it hard to express myself and to put my feelings and thoughts into words. I'm an adult, so how could a child be expected to do that?"

Tom added: "I've never had anyone in my whole life – my whole world – that I can really talk to. I'm isolated and on my own with no real friends or anything.

"But I'm a survivor and I'm still suffering. I should have a better quality of life.

"There's a lot of people out there in the same boat and I know how scary it can be to try and get help.

"I'm not a man who asks for anything. If I don't have something then I do without. It's a lifetime habit.

"But what I will say to anyone who is struggling with the same thing is this: Just hang on. No matter how long it takes, it will pass. Just hang on."

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