A CLACKS man has been included in a list of ridiculous excuses Scots have given to explain why they do not have a TV license.
Around 94 per cent of homes across the UK comply with the requirement; however, a minority continue to offer enquiry officers flimsy reasons for evasion.
The authority has collated a record of flawed, though humorous, responses in an effort to clear up any confusion about which households need to have one.
Among them is a line from an Alloa man who said: "I've just paid two fines, so that's it paid in full."
Elsewhere, a Falkirk gent argued: "I don't need a licence as I've no intention of taking it outside and driving it doon the road, as its not got any wheels or an engine."
A woman from Motherwell replied: "It's only ma kids who watch the TV and they're too young to pay for a licence."
Of course, there were a number of simply outrageous excuses, including: "I don't need a TV Licence because when we got divorced, the court gave her half of everything. So I got the TV and she got the licence. Go find her!"
One woman also said the bridge near her home in Queensferry was responsible for her bad reception, and she wouldn't be paying until the bridge was taken away.
A man from Leven claimed: "I only have one leg, I shouldn't have to pay," while a lad from Paisley said: "I have a smart TV and it's that smart it can work without a licence."
Another tried to catch the officers out by stating: "I only watch educational TV shows and this is Scotland and we don't pay for education, so bye bye, son!"
Fergus Reid, TV Licensing spokesperson in Scotland, said: "We make every effort to find evaders and although excuses we hear can be ingenious, those we catch still need to buy a licence.
"We offer help to those struggling to buy and would much rather people buy a TV licence in small weekly or monthly instalments, than face prosecution and a fine of up to £1,000."
"A licence is needed not just for watching and recording live television but for watching or downloading BBC programmes on iPlayer."
A TV Licence costs £147 and can be bought online at tvlicensing.co.uk/info or by calling 0300 790 6071.
A list of viewer exemptions, including those over 75, can be found on the website.