THIS week, as the wee ones have all gone back to school, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread in my bones.

I know it is irrational, but I have very little faith in the ability of schools, school teachers and other pupils to really look out for those most vulnerable in the classroom.

I remember what it was like to sit there, especially on the first day of primary and even on the first day of high school.

A lot of things can go wrong for young people in school and a lot of kids can get swallowed up. The pressures on teenagers now is well documented, but I still feel there is a expectancy on fit in at the earliest age possible.

Tragically, this is often termed as a child finding their place, but nothing could be further from the truth.

If anything, with the pressure to conform, and general peer influence, it is more likely that a child finding themselves is really more that the kid has become something they are not. They have been induced to change.

I bring this up because I have struggled with mental health ever since school age and I feel it is down to not accepting who I was inside and trying desperately to please others around me.

Whether it was how I dressed, spoke or behaved in school - there was always something that made me feel pressured into pretending that I was someone else.

As the years went on, I found it more and more difficult to be who I was and continued in my alter ego - no matter what.

I went on to resent my true self. I truly went out of my way to show disdain for things I agreed with or liked, in the fear that my peers would think less of me. I had no confidence to stand up for what I thought was right and found myself easily influenced in all conversation.

It came to the point where I realised I didn’t like who I was as an adult and I struggled to cope.

I felt I had wasted my youth being led around and, to an extent, controlled by others. The realisation hit me hard and it took me a long time to work up the courage to accept myself.

And let me tell you, this was perhaps one of the best feelings in my life. Just to know that you have the power to be yourself is liberating.

I do feel that had I told my then school peers about my true self that I may well have been scolded, but as an adult there is less impetus on me to fit in with others. And, lucky for me, I now have a supportive group of friends.

I hope that parents, school teachers, and big brothers and sisters can communicate this idea to young people. While teenage life will be difficult when it comes around, I truly hope that primary school kids can spend their days being kids - free from dread in their bones.