Save Safe Drive, Stay Alive: Firefighter opens up about the tragic loss of his friend and colleague

John Noble died while attending a call out in Dollar nine years ago, but the memories of that traumatic afternoon remain vivid for his loved ones.

For Alan, the accident was especially painful as he had asked John to swap shifts with him that day so that he could help out with the Safe Drive Stay Alive roadshow in Stirling.

Indeed, he was standing outside the Macrobert Centre when he first got the call and was racing back to Alloa when he was told John was gone.

Dealing with the emotional impact of the loss has been a burden not just for Alan, but for John's young family and all of his co-workers at the station.

He told the Advertiser: "We had ran Safe Drive for a year and for the second year of the show I was supposed to be working – that's just the way the shifts were.

"John was on holiday and I asked him if he could cover a couple of shifts for me, on the Thursday and the Friday, to allow me do the show.

"And the type of guy he was, he had no problem helping you out. He understood how important it was, and understood that I wanted to be there.

"Unfortunately, on the Wednesday, the fire engine was involved in a crash and John was killed.

"He was sitting where I was supposed to be sitting and had I been working that day then that's where I would have been.

"It's a burden and weight that I have carried for a lot of years and continue to carry because I do feel guilty and I feel, to a degree, that it's my fault that he's not here."

The Safe Drive team were midway through their week of shows when Alan first learned of the accident between Tillicoultry and Dollar.

He remembers vividly the moment he heard that someone had died, and the frantic scramble for confirmation.

He added: "Someone from the control room told me that there was an accident with my shift and that someone had been killed.

"At that time, my heart sunk. I was trying to ask for information but it was quite sketchy.

"I went to pick up a colleague and when we were on our way to Alloa Fire Station I received another call to say there was a confirmed death, and it was at Dollar, the fire engine left had the road, hit a tree and John was killed.

"I physically couldn't drive for a few minutes and, truth be told, I can't even remember getting to Alloa station.

"When we got there, everyone started breaking down, including myself. I was pretty inconsolable and I was numb for days afterwards."

An inquest would later find that an oil spill left on the road was the likely cause of the accident, with no fault attributed to any fire service personnel on the call.

Nevertheless, the weeks and months after the accident was an impossible time for both John's family and his colleagues.

For Alan, the fact he had swapped shifts with John was sickening twist of fate that has continued to haunt him to this day.

He said: "I remember saying to my colleague that it was my fault, because John shouldn't have been in the appliance. He should have been on holiday.

"I've struggled for years with, but there's nothing I can do about it now. It doesn't weigh easily on my shoulders.

"I think about it everyday – every single day. I wake up thinking about it sometimes; I go to sleep thinking about it sometimes.

"It's difficult to celebrate some things, like Christmas. I find it hard to be cheerful, knowing the anniversary of the accident is coming up.

"Sometimes it's unbearable, but I'm heading the right direction and living with it better.

"I should really push it to the back of my head, if I can. But one of the reasons I don't want to do that is that I don't really want to forget John, the person he was, and what happened to him."

When asked about John's character, Alan added: "You won't find a bad word said about him. Everyone who knew John respected him – you look at the posts on Facebook over the last week since the anniversary and you see how respected he was.

"He was a world expert in urban search and rescue. One of the main reasons I moved to Alloa was because I wanted to learn from him."

With John's accident there was no hint of careless or inattentive driving; however, the traumatic aftermath has served to motivate the Safe Drive volunteers to ensure no more people die on the roads.

And though the "horror" of the crash quite never recedes, Alan is comforted somewhat by the prospect of fewer and fewer young people being hurt on the roads in Scotland.

Though Alan may well have been tempted not to return to Safe Drive, he remains committed to programme in an effort to honour his friend John.

"Being involved in Safe Drive certainly helps," he said. "Anyone that knows me will tell you that I throw myself into that project and John's death is mainly the reason for that.

"I remember the last day of Safe Drive in 2008, the day after the accident. I was encouraged not to go, or that I didn't need to go, but I wanted to.

"I even asked if I could go on stage and I remember talking to the audience. I said: 'People think accidents happen to other people, well yesterday the fire service became another person'.

"We lost someone too. A lot of the team came out on stage, and we were quite emotional. We had lost a colleague and a friend.

"I set myself from that day forward that I wanted to stick with this show and I wanted to make sure it's kept going. If we can save one life, then it makes it all worthwhile."

Alan added: "Safe Drive wasn't started because of John's accident, but it continues because of it. The people involved in the show remember that day, and remember what it felt like, and are driven to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else.

"The accident happened and John was killed. But the affect it has had on his family and all those who knew him is lifelong.

"For the last nine years, honestly, the pain never fully goes away. But despite the horror of the tragedy, we have the hope of the show.

"It heals the wound a little bit each year and I know John would be proud of what we've done. He came to see it in the first year and I remember him saying that we should all be proud of the show.

"I can't speak for anyone else on the team, but I feel the show is in his honour. That's why I still do it."

The future of Safe Drive, Stay Alive remains under threat in the Forth Valley area due to a lack of funding.

Should the volunteers be unable to source the £23,000 necessary to keep it going, it is likely that next week's show will be the last.

Alan and his team are bitterly disappointed by a lack of support they have received, despite helping to reduce the number of road deaths in central Scotland among the their target audience.

He said: "I can see the difference this show makes; the statistics prove that and the feedback we get from the young people and their parents prove that.

"I've heard from people, five or six years after seeing the show, telling me that they still remember everything about it and we've had parents and teachers telling us that they drive differently because of it.

"The team see the good this show does every year. That's why we want to keep driving forward.

"If you catch a young driver at the start of their driving career then they will remember it for the rest of their life.

"We want to avoid other people feeling what we feel to this day. I know how John's death has affected me over the years and if we can save lives and stop people from feeling the same thing as that, then job's done."

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