The A to Z of T in the Park

In just one day headliners Biffy Clyro, Calvin Harris and Arctic Monkeys will arrive in Balado for an incredible weekend of non-stop music.

In preparation, I have the A to Z of T.

A is for ALCOHOL If you are drinking, don’t overdo it. You’ve spent good money to see some of the greatest acts in the world. Don’t ruin your weekend with overindulgence. Remember to drink plenty of water to keep hydrated and eat well so you don’t have to be put to bed early. In the arena the bars usually operate Challenge 25, so if you’re baby-faced make sure to take some ID.

B is for BE CHILLED, BBC INTRODUCING and BALADO Back for its seventh year, Be Chilled allows campers to pre-order Tennent’s Lager or Magners Original Cider online in advance, and Tennent’s will have your cans chilled and ready for collection each day in the campsite. Quick, easy and hassle-free, place your order now at www.tennents.com/bechilled. BBC Introducing supports undiscovered and under-the-radar musicians across the UK. Over the weekend the stage will showcase 20 hotly-tipped artists; The Amazing Snakeheads, Baby Queens, Beta Blocker And The Body Clock, Brownbear, Call To Mind, Charlotte OC, Copper Lungs, Cynikal, Eilidh Hadden, Florrie, GO WOLF, Hannah Trigwell, Lisbon, Medals, New Desert Blues, Nothing But Thieves, One Bit, Silver Arm, Slaves & Tijuana Bibles. Keep your eyes peeled as the stage will also host some special guests throughout the festival. Go to www.bbc.co.uk/introducing for more info. This is the last year Balado will host T in the P before the festival moves to the grounds of Strathallan Castle in 2015. Become part of the Balado memory.

C is for CITIZEN T and CHVRCHES The Citizen T manifesto calls on all T in the Parkers to be responsible and look out for their friends and themselves over the weekend. Do your part to make T in the Park a greener, cleaner festival. Glasgow-based band CHVRCHES will be bringing their bruised beats to Balado for the second year in a row. The trio - Iain Cook, Martin Doherty and Lauren Mayberry - have cooked up a storm since being voted #5 in the BBC Sound of 2013 poll and have made the jump from the Transmission Stage to King Tut’s Tent.

D is for DF CONCERTS & EVENTS For the past 21 years DF Concerts & Events has been bringing the world’s biggest acts and best breakthrough talent to T in the Park, ensuring fans have the weekend of their lives.

E is for EARLY ARRIVAL What’s worse than getting stuck in a queue and having to stand around for hours? Missing the entertainment. Know when the campsite and main arena opens and get yourself there on time so you don’t miss out. Thursday; 3pm campsite opens, no new arrivals after midnight, campsite gates closed from 2-8am. Friday; 9am campsite opens, 12pm arena opens, 2pm arena entertainment starts, 12am arena entertainment finishes, no new arrivals to campsite after midnight, campsite gates closed from 2-8am. Saturday/Sunday; 9am campsite opens, 11.30am arena opens, 12pm arena entertainment starts, 1am/11pm arena entertainment finishes, no new arrivals to campsite after midnight, campsite gates closed from 2-8am. Monday; 12pm campsite closes.

F is for FAIRGROUND Fairground - packed with classic and thrill-seeking rides, including the iconic ferris wheel, as well as arcade favourites.

G is for GETTING THERE The official Citylink coaches are the fastest and greenest way to get to T, dropping you off right at the festival entrance. If you’re not busing it, try and organise group lifts and share transportation to keep down those petrol costs.

H is for HAIM BBC Sound of 2013 winners HAIM are ready for seconds having been elevated from the Radio 1 Stage to the Main Stage in just 12 months. Expect the three sisters from LA to go crazy and if you’re lucky bassist Este might shout out her phone number.

I is for IPHONE APP For info on the go, download the official iPhone app to know who’s on where and when.

J is for JEN As always, I will be attending T in the P. I’m looking forward to catching sets from CHVRCHES, HAIM, Charli XCX, Bombay Bicycle Club, London Grammar, Pixies, Ben Howard, Royal Blood, Fatherson, The Twilight Sad and Metronomy. If you see me, say hello or tweet to @jenster13. Or even better, buy me a drink.

K is for KING TUT’S WAH WAH TENT Inspired by the legendary Glasgow venue, King Tut’s Wah Wah Tent is infamous with T and is a favourite with the artists and audience alike. This year’s headliners are Pixies, Ben Howard and Example.

L is for LEGENDARY CAMPSITE T in the Park’s legendary campsite is home to 70,000 campers over the weekend. It’s famous for its party atmosphere, friendly banter and onsite roars.

M is for MAIN STAGE Main Stage - graced by many music legends over the years, including the likes of The Who, Kasabian, Beyonce, Jay-Z, The Killers and Coldplay. This year expect Biffy Clyro, Calvin Harris and Arctic Monkeys to smash it, so squeeze your way to the front, put your hands in the air and go wild with the crowd.

N is for NOISE As well as a good pair of wellies and waterproofs, punters should look to invest in a set of earplugs to avoid taking home the awful souvenir of hearing loss. Tinnitus can be caused by a number of factors – including loud music and shouting in ears when trying to be heard over the noise. When your ears have been overloaded, they need plenty of rest to avoid the risk of permanent hearing damage. More and more festival goers are wearing earplugs because it’s always extra loud and during that one, banging track, the decibels tend to explode. With a good pair of earplugs you’ll be able to enjoy yourself for longer and better – with no nasty ringing noises or a deaf sensation during performances.

O is for ORGASMIC This is how you will not be feeling after three days of camping and partying, so make sure you pack some essential toiletries to get you through the weekend - such as dry shampoo, antibacterial hand gel, wet/baby wipes, clean clothes, fresh underwear, extra socks and your toothbrush/toothpaste.

P is for PARTY With a worldwide reputation as a festival that knows how to have a good time, T in the Park’s fans are the most passionate music lovers on the planet. Make sure you’re part of the 85,000 strong crowd per day for what’s gearing up to be the best party weekend of the year.

Q is for QUALITY T in the Park boasts an outstanding line-up of top quality acts. For the full bill, go to www.tinthepark.com/line-up.

R is for THE RESIDENCE, REFRESH and RADIO 1 STAGE The Residence is the ultimate luxury camping experience. With a dedicated car park opposite an exclusive Residence-only entrance, festival goers are welcomed into an oasis of indulgence to enjoy the festival experience whilst living in luxurious accommodation including yurts, tipis, pod pads and much more. Expect warm showers and premium toilets. For more information on the boutique experience that the Residence has to offer, go to www.tinthepark.com/camping/the-residence. Keeping you feeling fresh and smelling good, Refresh is the luxury way of getting through a weekend of camping. For a small fee, Refresh offers a pamper parlour equipped with mirrors, hair dryers, straighteners and posh flushing loos. For those that aren’t getting a Refresh band, take an extra toilet roll with you for the portaloo and prepare for the worst. The Radio 1 Stage will continue to host the ultimate of music cool. Everyone from Paul Weller to Pharrell have strutted their stuff across this stage in past years. Expect the likes of Steve Angello, DJ Fresh, Elbow, Disclosure, Bombay Bicycle Club, The 1975 and Tinie Tempah to give it their all this weekend.

S is for SLAM and SEX Slam Tent - where all the booming sub bass comes from. You know the one. The place where, over the years, you could have seen the likes of Daft Punk, Leftfield, Orbital and Mylo, to Fatboy Slim, Derrick May and pretty much the rest of the world’s dance and electronic music top brass. Prepare for your insides to be rumbled with mind-blowing sets aplenty from acts including Len Faki + Pan-Pot, Joris Voorn and Sven Vath. We all know campers can get a little frisky come festival time. If you are going to partake in this extra-curricular activity, be safe and stay healthy. Wrap it up, consider your neighbours (by that I mean keep the noise down, not invite them in), and remember those pictures that were supposedly snapped at T a couple of years ago - don’t let that be you.

T is for TENNENT’S and T BREAK Tennent’s Lager, the T in T in the Park, is a founding partner of the festival. With a long history of supporting the Scottish music scene, Tennent’s has also been finding the freshest and most exciting unsigned talent in the country via the T Break initiative. Throughout its 19-year history the T Break Stage has hosted some legendary performances - it’s where Biffy Clyro made their T debut back in 2000, where Paolo Nutini showcased his alter ego collective (Snake Derrick & The Vypers) in 2008, and where we were introduced to Snow Patrol. This year’s chosen acts are Atom Tree, Birdhead, Blood Relatives, Deathcats, Fat Goth, Medicine Men, Model Aeroplanes, NAKED, Scary People, Secret Motorbikes, TeenCanteen, The Moon Kids, Tisoki, Tuff Love, Vladimir and We Came From Wolves.

U is for UNRIVALLED ATMOSPHERE 85,000 music fans per day are at the heart of T in the Park’s unrivalled atmosphere.

V is for VEGETARIAN Whether you’re a vegetarian or carnivore, Healthy T serves the finest festival cuisine made from the best produce around.

W is for WEEKEND OF THE YEAR, WATER and WELLIES Are you ready for the weekend of the year? T in the Park has all the ingredients to make sure 11-13 July is an unforgettable weekend. Ensure you stay hydrated by taking advantage of the free water available from drinking points around the site. Don’t be a stick in the mud (literally) and be sure to take your wellies just in case.

X is for (E)XTRA LAYERS Even if we get the summer that we’re all wishing for, layers are essential for a full day of festival fun. Prepare for all weather and remember the basics - wellies and waterproofs to sun glasses and suntan lotion.

Y is for YOU The incredible line-up of artists at T in the Park is ultra-impressive but it is you, the festival fans, that make the bands want to come and play and that makes the atmosphere at T in the Park unbeatable.

Z is for Zzz...

Remember to catch some Zzz’s at some point so that your body has time to re-energise and prepare for the next day. Refuel, rehydrate and relax.

T in the Park will take place 11-13 July. For more info and tickets, go to www.tinthepark.com, www.ticketmaster.co.uk or call 08444 999 990.